How do you feel heading into the holidays?
Whether you celebrate them or not, it still can be an intense time.
Do you feel excited? Are you decorating and celebrating?
Or are you bracing yourself and gritting your teeth, wanting to hide from it all?
Perhaps you’re feeling heaviness around something that’s coming up for you right now. It’s very common this time of year. Some of my clients are feeling this way, or have felt this way.
That’s okay!
If you’re feeling overly stressed, burnt out, and even some anxiety about the upcoming holidays, then read on because I will share a couple things to reflect on as you enter the holiday season.
1) Are You Already Overstressed And Burnt Out?
As you feel the holiday stress, anxiety, and heaviness creep in, ask yourself if you are already overstressed and burnt out?
Is this your baseline way of existing?
Nevermind the next few weeks, what’s the rest of the year like?
This is something to ponder, because if your baseline is living stressed and burned out all the time, or most of the time, you have bigger concerns than just the holiday season.
The holidays aren’t your biggest problem.
If this is your default, there’s some other things to address such as needs that are not being met or a lack of support, and your own unconscious way of existing where you’re not honoring your needs and making yourself a priority.
2) Boundaries
The next thing to consider is what needs your attention with boundaries around this time of year?
Are you committing to more than you have the capacity for right now?
Are you agreeing to activities, spending, socializing or other energy draining commitments that you actually would prefer to say no to (if you’re being honest)? It doesn’t make you a bad person to be honest about that. “I’d rather not ____”.
Will you give yourself permission to chill out a couple nights a week – not see people or do things? Just order takeout and put your jammies on at 7:30?
Maybe there’s something that you’ve done simply because that’s the way it’s always been done.
Will you give yourself the permission and the freedom to not do it this year? You can choose, even if it’s not what others prefer.
What can you let go of?
Maybe there’s something that you want or need for this holiday season right now that’s meaningful to you, even if others don’t understand or agree or want the same thing. Can you be a little bit selfish about this thing and give to yourself?
This doesn’t have to be a tangible thing, but it might be just some alone time or a day spent with a special friend.
Boundaries are about honoring your wellbeing.
Yes, we want to be kind. We want to be loving. We want to be supportive.
But you can’t always turn your back on your own needs.
It’s not your job to keep everyone satisfied and pleased all of the time, or even to help them to understand why you have boundaries.
You can be as kind and compassionate as possible, but you deserve that compassion even more.
Whether you are anxious or really distressed because of what you’re taking on, or the people you’re spending time with, or whatever it is, it might serve you to get some support with this over the next few weeks and beyond.
This is something that comes up a lot with my clients because with the emotional empowerment work and the Gentle Trauma Release coaching, boundaries are almost always an issue to some extent.
Struggling with boundaries is most often an unconscious response from your nervous system.
You need to look after you.
Give yourself permission.
Your friends and family can only do so much when you start to get overwhelmed or shut down (or they may be part of the problem). They may not be equipped to support you at all, even if they mean well.
The 6 week Restored & Resilient Woman program will support you with exactly this, by working with your body in an effective process based on the science about the nervous system (not just your head), so you can:
- Experience immediate relief and release of heavy or intense emotions,
- Feel less triggered by everything going on,
- Navigate the holidays and beyond with more resilience and peace of mind,
- Think more clearly so you can navigate your next steps in an empowered way,
- Feel empowered to make choices that support your well being,
- Feel supported by a skilled coach who has your back.
Apply here: I am accepting limited spots to start right away so you can have hope and peace this holiday season.
PS: Tune in next week for part 2 and some more tips to help you survive the holidays without getting overstressed or burnt out.